’Tis the season.. Shark season that is and Ray Gluck brought out the game that is the best and most appropriate for us all to enjoy as we gathered at Impact Gaming Center in Fairview Heights, IL for our July Game Day East. Yes, it was his classic Sharknado Panic at the Beach. …… with the assistance of Steffan who helped as GM and shark wrangler players, Phillip, AJ, Steve and John all got a taste (or got tasted) with a bevy of flying and flopping sea creatures that were each turn tossed from the twister mid table.
It was the mission of the player teams to rescue those on the beach and nearby, take out whatever sharks they could and gather the necessary means of shutting down the funnel cloud of flying and flailing sharks.
Ray was kind enough to take notes during the game and submit this report on the race so we will turn it over to him. …..
Anyone that has driven a Pinto in their past knows they are not designed to have sharks on the roof…..
“In honor of both Shark Week and the American all-time classic series, ‘Sharknado’, we presented Panic at the Beach again this year. Honestly, people should stop visiting the beach about this time of year, as these things seem to happen.”
“Machette’s team started off strong and by the end of the first time had begun collecting the components for the ‘sharknado bomb’. Team Sobchak (played by John Goodman in his first cameo in a Sharknado movie) had their first components shortly thereafter, followed by Team Sean Riley (played by Simon Peg also in his first even cameo) and Team Fin Sheppard followed suit. Soon all 4 teams were rescuing civilians, but the sharks were primarily splashing to the South of the beach (on teams Fin and Sean) giving Team Machette a chance to really work the rescues.”“Sharks were continuously drawn to the ambulance and first responders, with one paramedic personally dispatching 4 sharks. At times this gentleman had 3 sharks on him simultaneously, but still he fought until the ‘delicioous’ (for the sharks) end. While a small girl at the ice cream truck quickly fell victim to the merciless sharks, a small boy with his toy airplane not only lasted 5 turns but dispatched at least one shark on his own. A passerby with a boom box did the same, as did several other heroic civilians who will all be remembered for the bravery.”
“Things took a turn for the worst when Machette and one of his team were taken out by the sharks. As Machette went down, with dead sharks piled all around him, he yelled “Why do I want to be a real person when I’m already a myth?” Then he was crushed to death by an usually docile Orca. About the same time, Simon Peg was taken down not once, but 3 times. Each time standing and taking out more sharks with his trusty cricket bat. During the final attack, he was heard yelling “Lets go to the Winchester, have an ice-cold pint, and wait for this to blow over.” Then he was eaten. With both Machette and Simon out, John Goodman decided it was time to take out this sharknado. En route with his LP Gas Bomb, a great white flopped from the top of a nearby school bus and took him out in one great big Rosanne Barr sized bite. As he went down, he yelled the immortal words “Shut up Donny.” Unfortunately, we may never know exactly what he meant.”
“With 3 key players out, and their cameos complete, a survivor from Team Machette avenged his boss and threw the LP bomb. The sharknado quickly dispersed, and disposing of the remaining sharks (now grounded) went smoothly.”
“The winner was, of course, the studio executives. Another profitable shark-ploitation movie in the can. “ “Head count wise, Team Machette came in with 41 points, Team Shaun came in second, Team Fin came in third, and Team Sobchack came in last. Honorable mention goes to Team Russell Franklin, led by Samual Jackson, who unfortunately was eaten before the game began. While Team Machette won on the count, its important to note that ONLY Team Fin saved their character to return to fight another day!”
“Fin Sheppard, and the sharks, will return in another Sharknado episode in July 2027! “
Thanks to Ray for the great report so we can enjoy the game.
A huge thank you to everyone who came out to play, as well as to those who stopped by to visit and spend time with us. We also want to extend our sincere appreciation to the outstanding staff at Impact Gaming Center for their continued support of our historical tabletop gaming community.
Be sure to check out Dispatches and The Weekly Gaming Update on this page for more information on upcoming games across the metro area.
Remember to shop local.
